Fifth Chemo

After the analysis of the blood drawn prior to the infusion, my Neutrophil count was low. This test is for monitoring my susceptibility to infection. My NP decided it was still safe enough to go through the treatment but with a lower dosage on one of my medications. The effect of having a lower dosage was more on a positive note. In the previous treatments, my knee pain would have started on Saturday night but this time, it didn’t start until four days later and the intensity was more bearable than before. The loss of appetite was still there and I was still not able to eat proper amount of food because I feel full easily even with just a few bites. This usually last only for the first week and the following two weeks, I’ve slowly recovered to have a normal amount of food intake. And I believe, this contributed to the slow loss of weight that I’m experiencing. To date, since the first treatment, I’ve only lost 13 lbs. This may also be due to the nutritious foods that my beloved care taker have been feeding me during my recovery. I am so blessed and lucky to have my sister Nory, untiringly, taking care of me after every treatment. She makes sure that I have food high in protein, fiber, and nutrition I needed during my days of recovery. Nory firmly believes in preparing more of plant based, vegan food rather than serving meat or food with high fat content.

At this household, there are five other guinea pigs and only one is real but we’re always willing to try anything she prepares. She hardly disappoints.

Jesus Manifestations

One of the things that help me navigated this journey towards a more positive and hopeful disposition is by creating what I call my Jesus Manifestations. Inspired by the messages

I hear from my favorite Christian radio station, K-love, from books that I’ve been reading, and from positive posts from family and friends, I started writing down positive messages. These messages reinforce my beliefs, my hopes, who I am, who I hope to be, who I aspire to be.

I actually started doing it after the third chemo treatment and have been posting them on my door in the form of a heart. The main idea is to ask the universe and attract what I want in my life as I go through this battle. I needed to believe and trust that I am a child of God,

that God is Love, that I am loved by Him, and God is good, always.

I needed to know that I am worthy, forgiven, and chosen by Him. I needed to reinforce the thoughts that I will beat cancer and I am alive, I am strong, I am beautiful and awesome, even when on those days that I didn’t feel they were true for me. And on those days, God then makes me realize that He’s been the one carrying my pains, my sufferings for me; reminds me how blessed I am for not having to go through on a harder journey; thus there are only two foot prints on the sand. After the fifth chemo, I completed my Jesus Manifestations with gratitude and thanking God.

Yes, it may be premature to complete it before the last chemo, but I believe God will sustain me and will not forsake me.

Check out the poster girl for our Beyond the C T-shirt Campaign.

T-shirts are still available to order; go to www.bonfire.com/beyond-the-c

Thank you for your support.