Back in May when I had my diagnosis, I was very hopeful that it will come to this day, that I’ll be able to say I am cancer-free. This is the day. I am cancer-free.
It wasn’t that easy to accept or even say those four little life-changing words.
Three weeks after my last chemotherapy, I had a CT scan done. My NP has sent me a message stating my results looked good but it didn’t quite sink in until I had my confirmation from my Oncologist. On our video call, we discussed the results on the various areas included in the test. My doctor has confirmed that there were no active cancer cells found in the CT scan. But she didn’t mention those 4 little words and quickly followed up with more checkups in the future to be sure there are no more cancerous cells suddenly creeping up out of expectation. There will be another follow-up test to be done after 3 months, and another, after 6 months just to make sure that there are no new cells developing into a cancerous one.
Prior to writing those 4 little words, doubts started stealing the peace I had in me, there were voices in my head wearing it out. I was still praying but was I letting my guard done or was I just sighing a relief? It didn’t feel or sound right when I say those words to myself. When I started telling people the results of my scan, I would say “It’s clear, no residue of cancer found.” I could not get myself to say I am cancer-free. It just didn’t feel right saying it. There were a lot of what-if questions brought about by the doubts I’m harboring in my head.
I am working on manifesting the peace of mind again because I know in my heart that God has healed me from this deadly disease.
For now, allow me to take a deep breath and feel away all the negatives and let all the positive things this journey has brought me.
My mantra: “I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
“I AM CANCER-FREE, GOD HAS HEALED ME.”,
