It wasn’t supposed to be cancer. It was supposed to be benign.
I was confident going into exploratory surgery, a laparoscopy, and thought I'd be released that night.
Flashback
Thinking back in November 2019, I went to see my gynecologist for post menopausal bleeding. She was not alarmed but concerned because my CA 125, is slightly elevated. Initial biopsies came back negative, so the doctor recommended an ultrasound to find out where the bleeding is coming from.
The ultrasound did not reveal the source of the bleeding but it was a revelation.
The technician found a mass on my left ovary. My gynecologist recommended a consult with an oncologist. Reluctantly, I searched in my insurance network for an oncologist that went to the best medical school, one that has years of experience, and an older female doctor who will surely understand what I'm going through at my age. From the list, the ones listed were either male or too far from where I live. I finally decided on one based on a gut feeling and inner voice. The oncologist was the doctor of a friend who underwent surgery to remove a 12 pound benign mass from her stomach.
Divinely guided? It turned out, she was the best choice. Dr. Diver is a caring, compassionate, and straightforward doctor I've met. The first time I met her, I felt comfortable in her presence. She takes the time to explain and ensure that I understood what she's talking about. The care I received from my doctor and her team was at best caring, compassionate and understanding. They put human in human being. I am not just a number, or another cancer patient, I am a patient that needed the human caring and understanding of someone going through and battling this chronic, deadly disease.
The oncologist and her team did another invasive biopsy and that came back negative.
I was confident, it was not cancer.
The present...
The nurses wheeled me in a room after the hysterectomy. Still dazed with anesthesia, I’m thinking I’m in a private recovery room and not a recovery area where I would have been discharged on the same day.
A few hours pass, the oncologist and her team came in and dropped the bomb.
“It’s stage 3 ovarian cancer.” I heard "CANCER" but I was calm. You might think, I was calm because it didn't sink in yet. Throughout the night, I stayed calm; but how can someone, who has just been told devastating news, stays calm? The answer is FAITH!
I have already offered and surrendered it all to God!
When something big like cancer hit me out from nowhere, I had two choices: make me or break me. Cancer is larger than life and I can not handle it alone or would even try. I knew that I had to place my trust it in the most powerful healing Hands I know. Even with the best doctors, best hospital, best medicines, nothing beats offering and surrendering my illness to the Ultimate Healer. I know in my heart, Jesus is ultimately the only one that can help me.
Jesus said, "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive." (Mathew 21:22)
That's what surrender means; believing that He has already given me what I had asked for in prayer and that it will be given to me in His timing, not mine.