Muscles and bone aches and pains
Nausea
Allergic reaction Loss of appetite
Stomach problems
Tingling on hands and feet and Hair loss (Aaarrrggg)
Name it, I got it; they were there like zombies ready to devour me
The day after the first chemotherapy, I was feeling a little tired but good overall.
I was optimistic, I got this!
That night, however, I started feeling muscle aches, sometimes penetrating thru the bones.
I took an anti-nausea/ sleep inducing pill and tried to get some rest.
Much to my dismay, the pain grew worse as the night wore on. The pain continued on for the next two days. So I endured it, hoping it would go away.
I was fortunate to not experience any extreme nausea or vomiting as days passed.
By the second week, I experienced a late allergic reaction in my hands and feet. Inflammation set in and the irritation grew worst that I scratched them hard causing sores.
I was later scolded by the nurse for not treating it right.
Since there were restrictions on what drugs or supplements to take or not take, I was hesitant to take any medicine that may affect or alter the effects of the treatment as I’ve been warned by the doctor.
“I’m not only the president, but I’m also a member of the hair club"…
I was also warned by my Oncologist that I would lose my hair.
I’ve known that having known people who had cancer. But all these warnings do not register until I was faced to face with the truth. Friends and family members suggested cutting it all off but I was not brave enough to face it although I’ve accepted the fact that I have cancer. So, I opted to shave it really, really short. My sister Carol, volunteered to cut my hair. Being proactive and taking it on, and with my sister doing it, has given me the permission to take another bold step.
Some have opted not to do such unthinkable and would opt to use cool scalp or other methods to keep their hair but I forged on. I don’t blame anyone one bit, losing your hair can be devastating for someone.
Right on cue as other "club members" have told me, on the 13th day after the first treatment, there were short hairs in and outside my cap. This was a big reality check.
Prior to having my first chemo, I saw an ad giving away wigs and accessories, free for chemo patient. I reached out.
God gives you the people you need at the time you need them. They're like angels on earth.
She's the kindest, most caring, and understanding person I've met.
I needed reassurance and I needed to have my hand held, so I called the kind lady who gave me her wigs and accessories. As a cancer survivor herself, she knows what I'm going through and boy, did she spell everything out for me. She was gentle and comforting, it was what I needed to hear.
Excerpts from Jaci's text
"But what I can say is that it is very hard. All these things done to your body. The effects of the drugs. The emotional load of knowing this is happening is because you have cancer. It's hard and it's scary and you have no control over any of it unless you decide to quit. Which you probably don't want to do... so you are kind of helpless about it all happening. That's very hard to accept.
...
"Be gentle with yourself. Allow feelings of sadness or anger or whatever it is you are feeling to wash through you. One thing we know is that feelings change quickly... but while we have them we should honor them and let them pass. I believe if we judge ourselves by feeling guilty about a particular feeling, it just makes the situation worse. Feelings can't be wrong... and sometimes we fight them and it just compounds the feeling. What you're facing is extremely difficult. Being scared doesn't mean you are weak or that your faith is weak, it simply means you are human. I believe God understands. Think how gentle Christ was with every hurting person he encountered. Wiping their tears... not chastising them by telling them to only think of the positive things in their lives. You know you are doing your best. Even if you're kind of falling apart for a little time. It's the best you have at that moment."
...
My hope for you is that you can have the loving support of someone who has the courage to hear you when you're feeling frightened and helpless and just listen. There is nothing anyone can do, really, but having someone "be there" is a great gift. There is nothing that can be done except persevere through. Take one day at a time. Keep your faith that you are in the loving hands of God. And allow yourself to feel your feelings - and I think I know from what we've shared that you won't wallow in those feelings, or allow them to consume you. Just let them pass through and say to yourself "yes. This is rough. No wonder I'm feeling (x) but I will get through this."
It WILL be hard, but you WILL get through it!"