To Thine Self, Be Kind

As expected, the muscle/bone pains and aches came the second day after the fourth chemo treatment but they weren’t more or less. The allergic reaction on my hands, arms, and legs came along for the ride as well.

There were no other side effects, thank God, other than the darkening of the skin on my hands. I believe that was due to the ointment that I was using to alleviate the allergic reaction.

The food that I’ve craved for has proven to be disappointing at this point. Although, thank God  again, that it has not come to taste like metal as they said it would. But that leaves me to thinking that if I’m not experiencing some of the expected side effects, either my body is tolerating the medicines well or are the medicines working? Something to bring up on my video call with the nurse next week.

The Logs

Did I mention before that I’ve been keeping a log of almost everything that’s going on? For example, I have a log of questions for every video call I have with the doctors and nurses. Along with these questions, I jot down the answers they  gave me because before this, I’ve always have a hard time retaining information. And then,  there’s what they called the “chemo fog brain.” I see Isabella’s expression on her face and gestures wanting to pull out the things I wanted to say; and she kinda just smile after I tell her my brain isn’t working.  

I also have a log of my daily/weekly goals that help to point me to the directions that I needed to go. Besides managing and living with the cancer, I’m sometimes lost at the fact that there are so many things I have to do besides taking care of myself. There are paperwork to do, research to be done, bills to be paid on time to avoid penalties and surging interest rates. I kept in touch with my HR department at work to ensure that I still have a job to go back to and my insurances didn’t lapse.

I log the medicines I’ve taken daily so I don’t double dose. Along with that, I note the side effects that I’ve experienced that  day.  This helps me to remember to relay all the experiences to the nurse during our video calls. There’s so much happening in between my treatments that I wouldn’t be able to recall if I hadn’t written them down. I need all the help that I can get, and by doing this, I’m doing myself a big favor in not adding any more stress of  recalling anything I needed to remember. 

I also have a log of donors, with whom I could not been more so grateful and humble,

to track if I’ve sent a thank you card or have not. Between my sisters and I, I believe we’ve got it covered where we’ve already sent a thank you note to donors without mailing addresses within the GoFundMe site or have sent a made with love, handcrafted thank you card and any product orders to all the donors. Of course, adding a personal touch to them with a personal note, or face to face visit, or phone calls to let them know how invaluable they are and their support.

My log includes important names, phone numbers, titles, and hospital or company affiliation. It’s always a good idea to  have these in one place for easy reference not only for me but for anyone that may need this information in case I’m incapacitated or unable to contact them myself. Yes, I do have all these on my phone but if you don’t have your phone or someone has to look it up on your phone and you’re having an emergency, it’s a time/life saving idea. Be sure to put a sticker/marker on the page for easy access. 

Besides the notebook containing my logs and notes, I’ve also have kept and organized the various documents, letters, medical records, and any important information I’ve received in one binder. Again, it’s for easy access and reference. I find myself referencing back to this binder numerous times to refresh my memory on what I’ve gone through, what I’ve done in terms of research, grant applications, and any medical correspondence I have received. 

Needless to say, at this point of the journey, life is already hard enough and complicated, all these organizing that I’ve done have made it a little easier to deal with stuff on a daily basis.

I’m being kind to myself and you should be, too, no matter what situation you are in. 

Update on CA125

Value: 6 Yeay, small victor? No, I think it’s a little more than that.